Nearly everyone dislikes the idea of creating a legal agreement to govern his or her relationship. It seems to take the spontaneity and trust out of the relationship and reduces it to a business arrangement. However, in some cases it may be the right thing to do.

First, let’s look at the difference between the two agreements. Premarital agreements are created between two individuals who are planning to get married in the near future. Living together agreements, also called property agreements, are created between two individuals who do not plan to marry immediately or perhaps at all, but who may accumulate property together. This can include same-sex couples and long-term roommate situations, as well as couples who choose to live together for an extended period.

Pre-marital Agreements: Generally, a premarital agreement is a good idea when one or both parties brings property into the marriage, one makes a larger income, or one or both owns a business. It becomes a necessity if children are involved. The agreement will indicate the property owned by each individual before marriage and how property purchased after marriage will be owned, managed, or controlled. It may also cover such issues as how jointly incurred bills will be paid.

If one spouse has children or grandchildren, that person may indicate through the agreement (and a will) to leave the bulk of their estate to their heirs at the time of death rather than leaving it to the surviving spouse. The agreement will also cover the details of any settlement or alimony should the marriage end in separation or divorce.

The Uniform Pre-Marital Agreement Act is a federal law that provides legal guidelines for premarital agreements. Agreements are usually enforceable in court unless it can be proven that one party was forced to sign the agreement against his or her will or that the agreement is written in such a way as to promote divorce, such as providing an unusually large settlement.

Living Together Agreements: Living together agreements also indicate the property that each party brings into the relationship. The agreement spells out how property jointly acquired during the relationship will be owned and what will happen to the property if the couple separates. The agreement may also indicate how money will be handled (does each person handle their own; will they have a joint account; or some other arrangement). If the couple later decides to marry, the living together agreement will no longer be valid and should be replaced by a pre-marital agreement.

Non-financial issues, such as who does the cooking and who does the laundry, are not covered by either a premarital agreement or a living together agreement. An attorney should prepare both agreements, since the simplest of mistakes can make the entire agreement void.

Though you may not like the idea of signing a pre-marital or living together agreement, having one could protect you and your assets if your relationship should end, particularly if it ends on less than friendly terms.

Copyright © 2002, Glenna Tooman; all rights reserved

Glenna Tooman owns Memory Makers Event Planning, LLC, located in Boise, Idaho. She is an authority on wedding and event planning and writes extensively on those topics.

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Many of God’s people struggle financially because they have a worldly view of financial prosperity which is summarized by the bumper sticker that says, “The one who dies with the most toys wins”. Understanding the true nature of financial prosperity will bring great spiritual and financial blessing. I encourage you to practice and preach the following principles.

ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE, YOU ARE FINANCIALLY PROSPEROUS WHEN THREE THINGS ARE TRUE OF YOU:

1. YOU NEVER WORRY ABOUT MONEY.

“Do not be anxious then, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘With what shall we clothe ourselves?’ For all these things the Gentiles eagerly seek; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things” (Matthew 6:31, 32; all Scripture quotations are from the NASB original edition).

Financial prosperity, according to Jesus, means that you never lie awake worrying about how to pay the bills, you aren’t distracted by money worries during the day, and you don’t fight with your spouse over money. This freedom from worry is available to every child of God who trusts His heavenly Father to provide all his needs.

2. YOU ALWAYS HAVE ALL THE MONEY YOU NEED.

“And my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19).

“And God is able to make all grace abound to you, that always having all sufficiency in everything” (2 Corinthians 9:8a).

God says you are financially prosperous when you always pay all your bills on time and all your needs are always met. And God promises to keep you in this happy conditionif you are a generous giver.

3. YOU ALWAYS HAVE EXTRA MONEY TO GIVE TO GOD’S WORK.

“And God is able to make all grace abound to you, that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed” (2 Corinthians 9:8b).

Financial prosperity includes always having an excess amount of money to give away to the work of God.

Scripture clearly teaches that God wants to bless His people with financial prosperity. That doesn’t mean we’ll all drive a Lexus or take a Caribbean cruise every year. But if we live and give according to biblical principles, we will never have to worry about money, we will always have all the money we need, and we will always have extra money to give away.

That’s true financial prosperity.

Copyright 2006 Rod Rogers

Rod Rogers, D.Min., is a stewardship consultant, speaker, and author. His ten-step Dynamic Giving System

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After the wedding I thought transitioning into married life was the hardest thing I would ever have to do in my personal life. I had never lived with a man before and nothing could have prepared me for the treatment I would succumb to over the next 12 years. I endured an array of verbal abuse ranging from the color of my hair (which was the same since the day he married me) to my apparent lack of intelligence. The degree of physical abuse was minimal but unforgivable and strangely he was most hurtful when he was sober, because then I knew he was aware of what he was saying and really meant it; though the details of the marriage don’t really matter.

What I was even more unprepared for was the divorce. It was a long time coming and beforehand I told myself I would take it in stride and never let myself miss him. To my surprise I had no problems holding up that promise to myself and early on found that I quite liked the fact that I could do whatever I wanted for dinner without being ridiculed about my culinary skills, or wear whatever my heart desired without being called “tramp-y” for showing some leg. And who would imagine that I, the one who has the intellect of “a can of soup”, could get a decent job?! I don’t think anyone would disagree that it’s pretty easy to adjust to living in a peaceful home after years of walking on eggshells.

So what was I so “unprepared” for? Where’s the tragedy to the story? Upon the finalization of my divorce my battle became a financial one and as many of us know that can rapidly turn into an emotional battle as well. Though while we were together money was never brought to my attention as a problem I soon found all the secrets he was keeping from me. Its not that he ever even lied to me about money, he just kept it all in the closet. I discovered a huge outstanding balance on a loan he told me had been paid off years before and had since been unpaid between the time he moved out and the divorce finalization (about two months).

It got a little more serious after they repossessed the car he had bought me (also supposedly paid off) and of course, it was under my name. Though I tried to remain as apathetic towards him as possible every time I found another credit card bill he was sticking me with I wanted to dislodge his tonsils with a spoon and yell at him “How could YOU be so stupid? How could you not have told me we were in such bad debt, especially after all those times I told you I wanted to get job and could have saved us this heartache?” That was what I was most in awe of, his deception. Of course hindsight is 20/20 so no wonder he never let me help out by paying the bills or have access to his accounts.

Long story short, I was eventually forced to move from my home (yes, the one I had planned to retire in someday) and I now live in a modest apartment with my niece- though at times I’m sure she wishes her roommate was a little more hip. It’s been a long road to recovery and there’s still plenty of road ahead but I’m making headway. I know this story has been retold in too many different renditions to count but I would like to offer my two cents to anyone out there who is on the brink, anyone who finds themselves at the intersection of desperation and alone, there is always someone you can talk to.

To be honest, for me friends and family weren’t exactly the ones I wanted seeing me in my fits of rage. I didn’t just want to talk to someone who cared, or who would “help me get through it all”. I wanted someone with the real life experience, who had been down where I was at that moment and could talk me off the ledge because they knew exactly how I felt. And I do believe that permitting myself to let strangers see me like that allowed me to carry on a more normal day to day life without hurting my loved ones.

The irony of all it all that I realized only a few years ago: if we hadn’t been so in debt, or if he had at least told me and allowed me to help him, would we ever even have split up? Was his anger toward me a repercussion of his worry about finances? I haven’t spoken to him in years so I don’t suppose I’ll ever have the chance to ask but now all I can do is encourage all those out there who may be finding themselves between a particular rock and an all too familiar hard spot there are people you can talk to. There are even people you can talk to while maintaining some anonymity! Http://www.lifeaftermarriage.com helped me cope. If not I would still recommend you to find someone you can vent to, they say keeping a journal of your feelings is great therapy but a journal can’t offer advice and the occasional response. You just have to the find the right person you want to reach out to.

** story written based off a personal story where the contributor would like to be kept anonymous.

Kelly Kennedy is the Communications Specialist for MindComet Corporation, a full service marketing agency for Fortune 500 companies and international conglomerates. Kelly specializes in public relations strategies focused on personal finance. Kelly has been author to hundreds of articles focusing on finance. She also acts as a contributing author for a wide variety of websites and newsletters. Kelly holds a Bachelors degree in Marketing from the University of Central Florida.

http://www.mindcomet.com

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